This morning was boring. So I asked my dad if I could come along with him to granny's after lunch. Huuuuge mistake. I think I almost died today but he'll prolly dismiss the idea.

I like it when my dad drives. When he drives a car, that is. I don't like it when he uses the motorcycle. Something about motorcycles makes my father think he's a technology-loving ninja who's planning to do stunts for another The Fast and the Furious movie.

He kept speeding past buses along EDSA, Mindanao Avenue, and the streets within the Novaliches subdivision, where my grandparents live, while I held on for dear life (struggling to keep my helmet on at the same time). When I tried to get off the demonic vehicle, my knees were shaking. Literally.

So anyway, it was fun/boring at granny's. There was practically nothing to do there because my cousins were either sleeping or still at school and they didn't have cable TV. It was fun catching up with my grandparents and my aunts, though. I also got to spend time with our youngest cousin (cute little two year old boy), who doesn't know who I am because the last time I visited was nearly a year ago.

So my grandfather goes, "You're just like your cousin Hannah. You've got a lot of metal wires on your teeth." Actually the word he used was alambre, a kind of metal wire popularly used as a clothesline. Of course I had to flash him my metallic teeth.

And then three of my aunts go, "You got fat."

So I say, "Yeah, I got a little fatter during the sembreak. I've been eating and sleeping a lot."

And one of them goes, "Tsk tsk, you're getting fat. You think that's good? See if anyone fancies you enough to woo you if you're fat."

My dad said he needed to go to LTO so I'd be going home alone. Inwardly, I did a 'hooray I'm saved' dance.

So I sat down with my grandparents and watched soaps on local channels. Also got to watch this old Jimmy Santos slapstick movie and I wasn't surprised at all to find myself laughing loudly with my grandfather at the crude humor. Apparently, I take after my father, who takes after my grandfather who loves slapstick comedy.

My grandfather's favorite word is probably gunggong. He'd say "gunggong na dancers ni Willie yan" or "sino yang gunggong na yan?" Unfortunately, I don't think gunggong has an English equivalent. It's sort of similar to gaga, though, I suppose. Incidentally, for those who don't know, gaga is a Filipino word used to describe females. Its male counterpart is gago. Gago and gaga are Filipino derogatory words which might mean stupid or crazy, as in "go gaga over Brad Pitt."

Right. I have no idea why I had to give that lecture.

Anyway back to my relatives. They then gave me merienda: a bottle of soda, bicho-bicho, and ginataan. Three hours later, they told me to sit and eat my dinner.

My relatives call me fat and then they tell me to keep eating. Hmm. They don't mean to put me down, though. They're just tactless and quite a humor-loving bunch. They're a big fan of direct speech. "You just say what you want to say." They hate cats because umeebak sa loob ng kwarto yan (they take a dump in the rooms). They wouldn't say "cats leave surprises in the rooms" because it's just not clear/direct enough.

I'm not sure if the following analogy/comparison is appropriate but it's the closest thing I can think of. Basically, they're like one of those stereotypical (there are exceptions, of course) families from Southern America (minus the intermarriages lol). Possibly like Joe from Great Expectations, who made a mess of things at Finn's big NY exhibit.

But I've never been ashamed of this side of the family. Even when they start screaming at the mall or when they blurt out something crass at a formal dinner or when they show up underdressed/overdressed for an occasion. Why should I be? They were the ones who raised me when my parents were working overseas.

And I think I turned out quite alright. Despite the existence of other people who'll beg to differ, of course.

Besides, I don't think there are other people who enjoy watching reruns of plot-less slapstick comedy movies as much as I/they do.